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| Meg "Grin & Never Bare It" Walker |
If trustee Meg Walker's mouth is moving, you know she's dreaming and scheming about only one thing, getting her little pale hands on some big green grant money, for you guessed it, yet another park. The gingered haired 'grandma of grants' reminds one of a jonsing addict, endlessly searching a carpet for spilled coke, long after said carpet has been brought to the dump. It seems to matter not how many times trustee Walker is told, "there is no money", "they won't loan us money," "we can't borrow money," " they won't give us the grant," "we're broke," "maybe we shouldn't be wasting our time," Meg Walker remains undeterred in her pursuit of, grants, grants, grants.
The endless parade of charades on display under Mayor Peter Swiderski is well documented, even with the bar of delusion, insulation and ego set at olympic heights, Trustee Walker does not disappoint. Upon being elected village trustee, B.P.'s hostess with the 'mostess', Ms. Friday Night Live, began floating the concept of Hastings on Hudson as a tourist destination, setting her sights on tourism as her angle for obtaining grants. That's right folks, tourism. Tourism in Hastings-on-Hudson? Tourism??? Does trustee Walker know something we don't, is there something behind that perpetual grin, could Meg be holding out on us? What has she up her sleeve? A sighting of "Nessie" in Sugar Pond? Big Foot in the Hillside woods? A fanning of the rumor that Jimmy Hoffa ate his last meal at the Center Restaurant and is buried beneath MC Cleaners? Are we about to learn that long time Hastings resident and former Mayor Julius Chemka invented the snow tire? Or worse, does she have plans to unearth the scandalous affair between the late Vic Foley (owner of Foley's garage) and former heavy weight champion Mike Tyson, with hopes that tourists will flock to the Farragut avenue garage/love nest. Indeed. Had Jim Morrison penned "L.A. Woman" in Ansels Bar & Grill after getting off the train at the wrong stop on a trip back east to visit a sick aunt in Dobbs Ferry? Perhaps a Virgin Mary sighting in the passenger window of Mayor Swiderski's Winstar might provide some much needed pedestrian traffic. Or are plans being proposed for a John Bartholomew Tucker Museum? (J.B.T. a former Hastings resident and host of 1967's Treasure Isle) Perhaps all of Meg's eggs are in Tim Downey's ground breaking concept of turning Hastings into "venison country," with he and village Mayor Swiderski serving as the modern day Gallo Brothers of deer meat. Whatever is in the works as a draw for Hastings "tourism", it had better top the current attraction that of ' a walk along the aqueduct' (where of late, a number of "tourists" have been prey for Childrens Village youth), or the installation of "spirit houses," which proved, 'if you build it,' (a bird house on sticks), 'they may not come.' Trails, 'vest pocket' parks, an average Farmers Market, 'poem in your pocket day', parades, bazaars, even the films of local resident Peter Callahan, are simply not going to win the 'tourism' day, or grant dollar. What on earth then could trustee Walker be thinking?
Grants for tourism, Ms.Walker? For whom? The throngs who arrive daily from Yonkers to purchase the Daily News at Hastings Stationary? The illegal hunters encouraged to patrol the area by the ever accommodating Mayor Swiderski? Or is it the non residents who take in the odd Friday Night Live gathering? These individuals are but visitors Meg, they are not "tourists." Grants for tourism Ms. Walker, to see what? How a once unique and vibrant village who's charm was it's diversity and it's people, transformed into a vapid, faceless, collection of self involved, political correct 'Stepford yuppies', who believe the birth of deer is something that should only be witnessed on television? The sad truth is, the above are in fact now the only thing to see, and are "indeed" the resources of Hastings. Chief among them, trustee Walker's ever present inauthentic grin and the empty rhetoric of Hastings Mayor Peter Swiderski. They exemplify the current state of the village better than anything, for they capture, empty.
Perhaps another mayoral proclamation is in order.
And whereas, Hastings has lost nearly all connection to it's past, as I have no interest in maintaining diversity, for authenticity of any kind scares the hell outta me. And whereas my visage and words serve to ensure that this will be so. And whereas, as I continue to wait for John H. Gonder to finally vacate 153 James street and go the 'big public comment in the sky', ridding us of the last vocal connection to this past plaguing our now generic homogeneous community. I promise to maintain and enhance the village's image by furthering my brown nosing relationship with the most earth conscious company around, the gang at British Petroleum. And whereas, I will continue to present Hastings as having an ethics committee, which never meets, I Mayor Peter Swiderski hereby proclaim the village of Hastings-on-Hudson to officially be known from this day forward and hopefully for all time, as "the suburban community" of Hastings. A little hamlet on the Hudson, which has sold out, checked out, might as well be Bronxville, but will continue to mimic the unique village it once was. A village I so wish I had known, but alas my character renders this an impossibility."
No wonder the youth of Hastings are expressing themselves by burning down porta-potties. This, the only real art that's been on display in Hastings for decades. 'Hmmm.... Burning Porta- Potties. I smell a grant.'
The endless parade of charades on display under Mayor Peter Swiderski is well documented, even with the bar of delusion, insulation and ego set at olympic heights, Trustee Walker does not disappoint. Upon being elected village trustee, B.P.'s hostess with the 'mostess', Ms. Friday Night Live, began floating the concept of Hastings on Hudson as a tourist destination, setting her sights on tourism as her angle for obtaining grants. That's right folks, tourism. Tourism in Hastings-on-Hudson? Tourism??? Does trustee Walker know something we don't, is there something behind that perpetual grin, could Meg be holding out on us? What has she up her sleeve? A sighting of "Nessie" in Sugar Pond? Big Foot in the Hillside woods? A fanning of the rumor that Jimmy Hoffa ate his last meal at the Center Restaurant and is buried beneath MC Cleaners? Are we about to learn that long time Hastings resident and former Mayor Julius Chemka invented the snow tire? Or worse, does she have plans to unearth the scandalous affair between the late Vic Foley (owner of Foley's garage) and former heavy weight champion Mike Tyson, with hopes that tourists will flock to the Farragut avenue garage/love nest. Indeed. Had Jim Morrison penned "L.A. Woman" in Ansels Bar & Grill after getting off the train at the wrong stop on a trip back east to visit a sick aunt in Dobbs Ferry? Perhaps a Virgin Mary sighting in the passenger window of Mayor Swiderski's Winstar might provide some much needed pedestrian traffic. Or are plans being proposed for a John Bartholomew Tucker Museum? (J.B.T. a former Hastings resident and host of 1967's Treasure Isle) Perhaps all of Meg's eggs are in Tim Downey's ground breaking concept of turning Hastings into "venison country," with he and village Mayor Swiderski serving as the modern day Gallo Brothers of deer meat. Whatever is in the works as a draw for Hastings "tourism", it had better top the current attraction that of ' a walk along the aqueduct' (where of late, a number of "tourists" have been prey for Childrens Village youth), or the installation of "spirit houses," which proved, 'if you build it,' (a bird house on sticks), 'they may not come.' Trails, 'vest pocket' parks, an average Farmers Market, 'poem in your pocket day', parades, bazaars, even the films of local resident Peter Callahan, are simply not going to win the 'tourism' day, or grant dollar. What on earth then could trustee Walker be thinking?
"Hey honey, I feel like doing something, let's take a trip, where do you feel like going?" How about Niagara Falls? The Poconos, how about Lake George? You feel like Cooperstown, a little Hall of Fame?"
"I don't know."
"Hey, I got an idea, how 'bout Hastings? Watch them dredge the riverfront for p.c.b.'s, huh? C'mon it's right down the road. It's like being surrounded by Canadians without ever having to cross the border. C'mon we'll feel better about ourselves after bathing in the mediocrity."
Grants for tourism, Ms.Walker? For whom? The throngs who arrive daily from Yonkers to purchase the Daily News at Hastings Stationary? The illegal hunters encouraged to patrol the area by the ever accommodating Mayor Swiderski? Or is it the non residents who take in the odd Friday Night Live gathering? These individuals are but visitors Meg, they are not "tourists." Grants for tourism Ms. Walker, to see what? How a once unique and vibrant village who's charm was it's diversity and it's people, transformed into a vapid, faceless, collection of self involved, political correct 'Stepford yuppies', who believe the birth of deer is something that should only be witnessed on television? The sad truth is, the above are in fact now the only thing to see, and are "indeed" the resources of Hastings. Chief among them, trustee Walker's ever present inauthentic grin and the empty rhetoric of Hastings Mayor Peter Swiderski. They exemplify the current state of the village better than anything, for they capture, empty.
Perhaps another mayoral proclamation is in order.
And whereas, Hastings has lost nearly all connection to it's past, as I have no interest in maintaining diversity, for authenticity of any kind scares the hell outta me. And whereas my visage and words serve to ensure that this will be so. And whereas, as I continue to wait for John H. Gonder to finally vacate 153 James street and go the 'big public comment in the sky', ridding us of the last vocal connection to this past plaguing our now generic homogeneous community. I promise to maintain and enhance the village's image by furthering my brown nosing relationship with the most earth conscious company around, the gang at British Petroleum. And whereas, I will continue to present Hastings as having an ethics committee, which never meets, I Mayor Peter Swiderski hereby proclaim the village of Hastings-on-Hudson to officially be known from this day forward and hopefully for all time, as "the suburban community" of Hastings. A little hamlet on the Hudson, which has sold out, checked out, might as well be Bronxville, but will continue to mimic the unique village it once was. A village I so wish I had known, but alas my character renders this an impossibility."
No wonder the youth of Hastings are expressing themselves by burning down porta-potties. This, the only real art that's been on display in Hastings for decades. 'Hmmm.... Burning Porta- Potties. I smell a grant.'
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| John Bartholomew Tucker |
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